March 6, 2008
A Gun in My Hand
When I was ten years old my father and mother made it clear that they did not like guns, but they also made it clear that knowledge was a better defense than avoidance. Knowing I might someday encounter a gun they decided I would be safer if I knew how to operate and hold guns correctly. So I spent some weeks learning how to carry and shoot a rifle and pistol. For years I kept the paper target with three holes clustered just above and to the right of center as a token of my success and passing grade in the class.
Today I am something of a pacifist and as time has gone on I have become quite unhappy with the plethora of guns in this world: most of them born of fear or hatred. Then, some weeks ago a member of my church found he was slipping into a deep depression and, instead of killing himself, he got admitted to the psych ward of the hospital. Eventually he and I spent some time with his caseworker who said that before he could be released he needed me to remove one particular risk of suicide from his home. So that winter afternoon, armed with the knowledge of how to find a key and where to find the source of temptation, I went and took a gun from his house.
Never in my days did I think that ministry would lead me to hold a loaded gun in my hand. I took the bullets out and then began to wonder “what next?” One voice in me wanted to throw it into the White River, where it might “sleep with the fishes,” or perhaps I could give it a nice burial in the deep woods somewhere. The ten-year-old in me thought about how this was not a James Bond weapon, more something that might be carried toward a High Noon, and considered keeping it. The practical voice said that I should sell it and give the proceeds to the church’s operating fund, but immediately another voice said, “It’s not yours to sell, you don’t want to sell it to the wrong persons, and who wants the church to profit from the sale of weapons? Rid the world of its evil!” Still the practical voice insisted that “selling the gun for the church is what was suggested by the case worker.” So here I am, with a gun hidden away (not at the church) and not sure what I can and should do with it.
What do you think?
Rev. Thomas Perchlik's Weblog 
mskitty said,
March 6, 2008 at 10:55 am
I agree with the little voice that says “the church shouldn’t profit from the sale of weapons” and the one that said “there’s no guarantee that it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands”.
Is there a way to disable it and store it away somewhere, accompanied by a letter that explains your possession of it, just in case you get hit by a bus?
Seb said,
March 7, 2008 at 1:53 am
Discounting my disagreement with your irrational aversion to firearms, I suggest perhaps looking beyond profit and destruction and to remember this is not your property. You could sell it and buy this member a gift, or better yet, pay to have it deactivated and have it engraved with something like:
“In this weapon you will not find salvation but eternal damnation for you and those you hold dear.”
or perhaps
“God loves you and values your life.”
Just a thought.
davidium said,
March 7, 2008 at 10:03 am
Thomas,
Most police departments will accept any handgun that you wish to turn in to them, and they will destroy it.
I made the committment to never carry a gun again when I began practicing Zen… because I am very, very god with them, thanks to the Boy Scouts and then the Army.
Good article, good move, and good ministry…
Yours in Faith,
David
Robin Edgar said,
June 21, 2008 at 9:32 pm
“because I am very, very god with them,”
I don’t suppose that was a Freudian slip now was it David? 😉